For Daiki and me, answering this question was surprisingly difficult at first. A role is a multifaceted construct shaped by countless influences—upbringing, culture, society, and the expectations of others. What we soon realised in our conversations was this: people often struggle with their roles. That insight became our starting point—and ultimately the reason we wrote the book Rolefulness.
That’s why we want to begin here—with you. You might already be facing challenges in your roles. If this is you, you're not alone.
In today’s dynamic and multifaceted world, we often find ourselves juggling various roles and responsibilities. The pressures and demands associated with these roles can lead to role distress.
Role distress encompasses several interrelated challenges, including:
- Role strain – feeling tension when fulfilling the expectations of a single role
- Role conflict – facing incompatible demands between different roles
- Role confusion – struggling with unclear boundaries between roles
- Role ambiguity – not knowing what is expected in a role
- Role overload – taking on more than one can reasonably manage
Each of these forms of distress can have a significant impact on our well-being—leading to stress, dissatisfaction, and even physical or mental health issues.
Let’s explore each type of role distress to see if any speak to your current experience.
Role Strain
Are you currently feeling strain from one of your roles—pulled in different directions and struggling to meet all expectations?
This is known as role strain—a concept in sociology that refers to the tension or stress experienced when the expectations tied to a single role become difficult to reconcile or fulfill simultaneously.
In my role as a trainer of coaches, the line between being a coach and being a friend can sometimes blur. With certain clients in the past, I’ve struggled to define clear boundaries and have overextended myself—leading to unanticipated and unfortunate outcomes that took a toll on my mental health.
For Daiki, as a university professor, the time demands and expectations of his role—along with his strong commitment to his students—often leave him physically and mentally drained by the end of the day.
We both find it difficult to say no. Because we care about the people we serve, we tend to accommodate the requests of our students or clients. But at times, this supportiveness occasionally comes at the expense of our own well-being in our roles.
Role strain can arise from:
- Conflicting expectations from others within the same role
- Limited resources such as time, energy, or emotional capacity
- Personal values that clash with what the role demands
Even in roles we care deeply about, this kind of internal pressure can lead to fatigue, doubt, or frustration. Recognizing role strain is a vital step toward navigating our roles more consciously—and more rolefully.
Role Conflict
If you’re a parent, you might struggle to balance your work role with your parenting role. I speak from personal experience. As an ambitious solopreneur, I’ve often found it difficult to manage the responsibilities of being both a father and a business owner. In order to provide for my family, I would overwork—often neglecting my duties as a father. And when I was spending time with my son, I was frequently preoccupied with thoughts about work, my mind distracted, my body present but my attention elsewhere. This left me feeling uneasy and guilty in both roles.
This is a clear example of role conflict—when an individual is confronted with incompatible demands stemming from the different roles they occupy. These conflicting roles often span key areas of life such as work, family, and social commitments.
Role Confusion
Often, role conflict is compounded by role confusion—a state of uncertainty or lack of clarity about one’s roles and the expectations associated with them. Role confusion frequently arises when individuals are unsure of their identity within a role or unclear about what behaviors, responsibilities, or attitudes are expected of them.
This confusion can stem from several sources. It may result from ambiguous communication within organisations, families, or social groups, where expectations are not clearly articulated. It can also occur when a role is newly assumed—such as becoming a first-time manager, a new parent, or a recent retiree—where there are few concrete guidelines to follow, and the individual must navigate the role largely through trial and error.
Without clear role definitions or models to emulate, individuals may find themselves questioning their purpose, doubting their competence, or feeling pulled in multiple, often conflicting, directions. In some cases, they may struggle with internal questions like, "Am I doing this right?" or "What exactly is my role here?" Over time, unresolved role confusion can lead to anxiety, decreased self-confidence, diminished role satisfaction, and even withdrawal from the role altogether.
Importantly, role confusion doesn't just impact the individual—it can also affect the broader social environment. When someone is unclear about their role, it can create tension, misalignment, and inefficiency within teams, families, or communities, as others may also become uncertain about how to relate to or rely on that person.
Role Ambiguity
Closely related to role confusion is role ambiguity—a condition where individuals lack clear guidance about their responsibilities, boundaries, or expectations within a role. Unlike role conflict, where competing demands create tension, or role confusion, where identity within a role feels uncertain, role ambiguity specifically concerns the absence of information needed to perform effectively.
Role ambiguity often arises in environments where communication is vague, leadership is inconsistent, or the structure of roles is fluid or undefined. This can happen within workplaces, volunteer organizations, educational settings, and even personal relationships. For example, a new employee may be given a job title but no clear description of tasks, or a partner in a relationship may be unsure about the expectations for emotional support or decision-making.
When individuals are left to "guess" their way through a role, they may experience heightened stress, frustration, or a sense of being overwhelmed. The lack of clear standards makes it difficult to measure success, leading to feelings of inadequacy or fear of failure. Moreover, role ambiguity can erode trust between individuals and organizations, as unmet or misunderstood expectations gradually breed resentment or disengagement.
Over time, chronic role ambiguity can diminish motivation, increase turnover in organizational settings, and negatively impact mental well-being. In personal spheres, it can create emotional distance or persistent conflict between people who might otherwise have thriving relationships.
Role Overload
In some cases, individuals may not experience conflict, confusion, or ambiguity within their roles—but instead encounter role overload. Role overload occurs when the sheer volume of responsibilities across various roles—professional, familial, social, or otherwise—becomes unmanageable. It is the experience of having too much to do and too little time, energy, or emotional capacity to fulfill all the demands placed upon you.
Role overload is characterized by a relentless accumulation of tasks and obligations, even when the expectations themselves are clear. It often feels like trying to keep too many plates spinning at once: no matter how hard you work, there is a persistent sense that something is being neglected or left undone.
Role overload can be especially common in high-achieving individuals, caregivers, leaders, and those who tend to assume multiple responsibilities out of a sense of duty, ambition, or care for others. Over time, the constant pressure to meet the demands of multiple roles can lead to chronic stress, burnout, emotional fatigue, and even a sense of diminished self-worth as individuals feel they are never doing "enough."
Furthermore, role overload can create a vicious cycle: as exhaustion sets in, performance may decline, leading to further feelings of guilt or inadequacy, which in turn fuels even greater efforts to "catch up," deepening the sense of overwhelm.