How to find your unique role in life
Having a unique role in life to pursue is something we can all achieve; it isn’t just reserved for those with wealth or fame. And it doesn’t have to be something grand or world-changing—although it certainly can be. Your unique role in life may go unnoticed by others as you quietly fulfill it by serving the people you wish to support.
It speaks to the inner call to use your life meaningfully, in service of something larger than yourself. In Japanese, this is closely aligned with the idea of shimei (使命): how you use—or wish to use—the life that has been given to you.
If we take a look at the kanji that form the word shimei:
使 (shi) – from the verb 使う (tsukau), meaning “to use”
命 (mei) – meaning “life”
In this light, unique rolefulness is most clearly expressed through three key items from the Rolefulness Scale:
- I am useful in society
- I can apply my strengths for society
- I have a role that is only mine
Where these three statements overlap is where you can find your unique role in life.
When these statements are affirmed, they reflect a life lived with purpose, contribution, and distinct identity. This can be understood as the sense that you are embodying the role you were born to fulfill—a role that draws on your deepest values, expresses your authentic self, and contributes meaningfully to the lives of others.
And it is in the pursuit of this role that you uncover a purpose-driven ikigai, a sense of meaning and purpose that makes life feel worth living. This kind of ikigai emerges not in isolation, but through your connection to others—when your role contributes to your social world or helps solve a problem that matters.
According to author and ikigai research pioneer, Mieko Kamiya, depending on your personality, life experiences, and desires, you can uncover your personal mission or unique role in life in three ways:
- By being naturally drawn to an area of personal interest
- Through a conscious choice
- Through fate—where your role in life seems to find you
1. Personal Interest
Some people are naturally drawn to a particular field or activity, and their role in life emerges from following that passion.
Finding your unique role through personal interest isn’t about forcing anything—it’s about paying attention to what naturally pulls you in. What gets you into a flow state? What would you still do even if no one paid you?
These are clues. The key is following what excites you, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense at first. It’s not about waiting for passion to strike like lightning—it’s about cultivating what you already enjoy. Start small, experiment, and follow what feels easy and energizing. That’s where you’ll likely find your sweet spot—the role that feels uniquely yours.
One example is Marie Curie, who was deeply interested in physics and chemistry from a young age. Her passion for science led her to pioneering discoveries in radioactivity, winning two Nobel Prizes in two different scientific fields—a feat still unmatched today. Curie’s innate curiosity and interest in research fueled her lifelong commitment to uncovering the mysteries of the natural world. Her role as a groundbreaking scientist was a product of her personal drive and passion for knowledge.
2. A Choice Made Consciously
Sometimes, people uncover their role in life through a deliberate, conscious decision to pursue a specific path.
You might see an injustice in the world or a problem waiting to be solved, and you decide to take the responsibility to try and solve it. It will come with challenges and thus requires a commitment of time and energy. You are making a wrong right.
This is often how a unique role begins—not with a grand vision, but with a sense that something isn’t as it should be, and a decision that you won’t ignore it. You step forward not because it’s easy or convenient, but because you feel a responsibility to act. This willingness to engage, to confront discomfort or difficulty, marks a turning point. It’s where purpose starts to take shape.
Choosing to commit yourself to solving a real problem—whether in your workplace, your community, or the wider world—means stepping into a role that is both personal and socially meaningful. Your role becomes a vessel for action, for contribution, and for change. And in that role, you may find not only a sense of direction, but a deep and enduring ikigai.
Nelson Mandela is a powerful example. Although he initially trained as a lawyer, Mandela consciously chose to devote his life to the fight against apartheid in South Africa. This decision came at great personal cost, including imprisonment for 27 years. But Mandela’s steadfast commitment to justice and equality eventually led to his role as a unifying figure and the first Black president of South Africa. Mandela’s role was not handed to him; he chose it, despite overwhelming challenges. His life became a testament to the power of choice in finding one’s role.
3. Fate
In some cases, a person’s unique role seems to find them—often through circumstances beyond their control.
Sometimes life throws you into situations you never planned for, and that’s where your role comes into existence. It may be an event that significantly shifts your perspective or reshapes your attitude toward an aspect of life. Your intuition will often sense the weight of the moment. We could describe it as the moment you discover your calling—or when your calling discovers you.
Often, it’s when tragedy or hardship strikes, and you feel compelled to take on the charge for change—to act so that others don’t experience the same pain. Discovering your role in this way can feel like a spiritual experience, as if you’ve been swept into something greater than yourself—a calling from life itself, from your creator, or from a higher power.
Malala Yousafzai is an example of someone whose life and role were shaped by fate. Born in Pakistan, Malala became an advocate for girls’ education at a young age, but it was her near-fatal shooting by the Taliban that catapulted her onto the global stage. Despite the attack, she survived and continued her advocacy, eventually becoming the youngest-ever Nobel Peace Prize laureate. Her role as a symbol of resistance and a champion of education rights seemed to find her through an unexpected series of events—illustrating how fate can play a profound role in uncovering one’s purpose in life.
Each of these public figures found their unique roles in different ways, highlighting that there is no single path to uncovering one’s unique role in life. Whether through personal interest, a conscious decision, or the hand of fate, each of us has the potential to find a role that is uniquely ours and that contributes to society.
Your unique role in life is to discover how you want to use your life—and then commit to pursuing and embodying that role. It is the desire to devote yourself to expression, to create something new that will bring about positive change within yourself, to your personal community, or the world at large.
Nikkyō Niwano, Buddhist author of the book Ningen no Ikigai (The Meaningful Life), wrote that each human being has a mission in life, and that it is of fundamental importance for each of us to awaken to our roles and walk the paths needed to fulfill them. Niwano believed that without a sense of role and a devotion to others, life would become a struggle, as we would burden ourselves with nothing but our own selfish desires.
‘If everyone pursued nothing but his own selfish ends, society would become a machine without lubricating oil. It would soon cease to function and would ultimately explode from overheating. The spirit of service is the lubricant needed to bring happiness and fulfillment to the individual and lasting peace to the whole world. This seems a remote ideal to some people. A dream for the future. But I do not agree. On the contrary, I think it is the image of a world that can be realised in the relatively near future.
The person who makes up his mind to devote himself to the service of others suddenly feels relieved and happy. He is no longer burdened with selfish desires. The daily things that cause grief cease to bother him. Bonds dissolve; he is free. This feeling alone is wonderful. I suspect this is the way a man who becomes a priest feels. But to experience it, one need not renounce the world. Resolving to serve others and to devote oneself to the interests of mankind produces the same effect and is infinitely more valuable.’
As Niwano encourages us, we each must make up our minds about how we want to devote ourselves to the service of others. Finding this new role may be less challenging than you think. Your curiosity and intuition will guide you, and opportunities will naturally present themselves. You may even uncover or create this role in collaboration with someone else.
That was the case for Daiki and me. A casual suggestion—writing a book together—set something in motion. Once that seed was planted, we met in person in Brisbane, Australia, and discussed the idea. Over time, our conversations deepened, mutual trust formed, and a growing desire to share this concept shaped our identity as co-authors. Along the way, we became good friends.
We now sense that our roles may extend beyond simply writing about rolefulness. New possibilities are emerging—a bright future filled with opportunities. This shared role has given us a renewed sense of purpose, and the unfolding journey continues to excite us.
A unique role often evolves as you do. As you grow, your role may begin to ask more of you—pushing you to step outside your comfort zone. But this is a virtuous cycle: the more you give to your role, the more it draws out your potential. And this unfolding can only happen in connection with others and in service to them. It cannot happen in isolation.
Often, the main reason we hesitate to take on a new role is that we’re intimidated by the responsibility it carries. Taking on a role is an act of commitment—committing yourself to the service of others—something not to be taken lightly. Yet at the same time, it can liberate you to become more than you thought you were capable of. A role, when consciously chosen and owned, gives you the opportunity to grow into the person you want to become.
As with all things in life, it’s important to find equilibrium. Japanese neuroscientist and author Ken Mogi warns against devoting yourself so single-mindedly to a particular role that you close yourself off to other possibilities. He encourages people to occasionally unshackle themselves from social obligations and reconnect with their inner child—finding ikigai by feeling creative, curious, and free:
“When you were a child, there were infinite possibilities. Your existence was not really defined by any social roles or status. I think being a child is a really important technique to remain creative and free and for learning and so on.”
So perhaps one of your roles in life is to occasionally step away from your professional and social roles and allow your inner child to take the lead. In doing so, you’re not abandoning your responsibilities—you’re choosing to be intentionally roleless from time to time.
This kind of purposeful pause can refresh your sense of self, restore your creativity, and remind you that playfulness and presence are also essential parts of a life well lived.